The Only Exception
by ablondeinaunionjack
Summary: Col loves Connie. But can he ever trust himself and his love enough to say it? Songfic to Only Exception by Paramore. Julia Golding owns the characters.


**This is dedicated to everyone on the CQ forums for general chat and randomness :D**

**Edit – Also, thank you to Awesome-Fawkes for pointing out that it's Number 5, not Number 1**

Col knocked on the door of Number 5, Shaker Row, his mood grim. This was Connie's last day in Hescombe before she went away on what she called "my busman's holiday": she was going to Greece to train with a different set of mythical creatures that preferred the warmer climes. She would be accompanied by Sentinel, the minotaur who had taken it upon himself to guard the universal after she had saved him; Gard, her rock dwarf mentor; and Kira Okona with Windfoal; but not Col. He was to stay behind and continue his training for the forthcoming Society Olympics in Germany. He loved his training, he really did: but he loved Connie more. And that, Col mused, was the problem. He couldn't bring himself to utter those three words to her, and didn't think he ever would. They were boyfriend and girlfriend, sure enough, but he'd never really told her face-to-face. He blamed this half on how far out of his league Connie was; and half on his parents.

_When I was younger I saw_

_My daddy cry_

_And curse at the wind_

Mack divorced Cassandra shortly after Col was born; two weeks after his first birthday. Throughout everything, he had maintained an angry, stand-offish manner, leaving Cassandra thinking he was coping. Only his baby son, on those precious weekends when Mack could see Col, saw him cry at night, cursing the day he'd ever abandoned the gorgon companion so carelessly. As if she'd meant nothing to him. Col had never told his father, but he remembered those nights so vividly it hurt sometimes.

_He broke his own heart_

_And I watched_

_As he tried to reassemble it_

In truth, the break-up had been Mack's fault; but there wasn't a day that went by when he didn't wish it had ended differently. But every time he made a clumsy attempt to re-build the broken bridges, Cassandra's icy stare would make them collapse. He'd tried, he really had; but Cassandra had drawn away from him, locking the doors and keeping contact to a minimum. For Col's sake, they tried to keep it together for a little while; but inevitably their relationship fell apart. Col had been caught in the crossfire, and got scarred by the shrapnel.

_My momma swore she would_

_Never let herself_

_Forget_

On Cassandra's side, huge walls had sprung up, keeping her ex-husband far, far away from her. From that point, she'd made up her mind that she would never re-marry. It had hurt too much the first time. And now, on top of everything else, she had a child. People watching might have seen her as a cold, distant mother; but to Col she was always tender, caring, if a little strange. Sometimes she leant over his cot, making soothing noises and murmuring:

"Colin...you mustn't trust your father. Never forget that. He betrayed us. Never forget."

At times like that, Cassandra's blue eyes misted over with tears. Col remembered that too.

_And that was the day that I promised_

_I'd never sing of love_

_If it does not exist._

From then, Col had never trusted love. It was fickle, tricky, unreliable. It had hurt his parents, and he had no intention of following in their footsteps. In fact, he'd never even considered that he might fall in love; until Connie. But now he couldn't admit it to her: what if it ruined everything? What if it wasn't even love? If it broke them up...well, he couldn't face that. Not at all. Their relationship was too important to him. Of course, he couldn't possibly be in love now. Could he?  
At that moment, Connie opened the door; and every misconception that he wasn't utterly in love vanished.

_But darling,_

_You are the only exception_

_You are the only exception_

"Hey Col," she said, smiling warmly. "Sorry I took so long – I was washing my hair. Come inside."

Col met her mismatched eyes, and his heart leapt into his throat. All of a sudden his whole body felt uncoordinated and heavy, as though it didn't belong to him. He could feel his ears getting hot, and prayed that Connie couldn't see him blushing. A thick strand of dark hair fell down from underneath the white towel, and she brushed it away from her eyes, before leaning against the door frame and watching him intently.

"You do realise it's raining out there, don't you?" she asked calmly.

Col looked up stupidly at the sky, and a raindrop fell into one eye. He blinked it away, lowered her face, and grinned sheepishly at Connie. She detached herself gracefully from the frame and opened the door wider.

"Well, come on then," she encouraged.

"Yeah, it's, erm, wet out here" stuttered Col.

"I expect it would be, it's raining."

Col mentally cursed. What was wrong with him? As soon as he was near Connie, his lips started moving before his mind began working. He followed her inside and closed the door. As he turned around, he noticed that she looked amazing today; but then, to him, she always did. Connie smiled, and his heart thudded so loudly in his chest that he thought she must be able to hear it.

"Aunt Evelyn's out with George, and Mack is...somewhere," she gestured vaguely with one hand, "out with the Kraken, probably. Could you come up and give me a hand packing? I _still_ haven't finished."

"Sure."

Connie turned and led the way upstairs. Col was thankful not to be looking at her face for the moment – he'd been feeling so awkward with her recently.

_You are the only exception_

_You are the only exception_

"So...how many cases have you got to pack?" he asked, following his girlfriend into her room.

"Let me see...I've already got my hand luggage, and one suitcase...that's two more. I have lots of books to take," she added, seeing Col's surprised expression. "So I have books and some other things for my training, it's really just a case of making everything fit in."

Inside her room, there was a large suitcase half-filled with books and papers in folders.

"This is my second suitcase – this is for all the training books, and mythology – not to mention the schedules." Connie laid a hand on her forehead wearily. "This is going to take forever."

Col went past her and began to pick up the other piles from the floor, dumping them on the bed next to the case.

"No it won't – I'll help."

She smiled, and moved over to help.

"You're a godsend, Col. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Col went bright red, and turned away.

"No," he replied gruffly. "You'd manage."

"No," responded Connie, "I wouldn't. Honestly. You help me keep my feet on the ground when I get caught up in the whole universal thing. I don't know how I'll manage when I'm off in Greece."

He pasted an unconvincing smile onto his face.

"I'll call you. And we can always talk over the computer."

"Yeah." Lowering her voice, she moved closer. "But it won't be quite the same."

She kissed him on the cheek, and his heart pounded furiously in his chest.

_Maybe I know, somewhere_

_Deep in my soul_

_That love never lasts_

From an early age, Col had gotten the impression that love never lasted. His parents had broken up soon after their marriage, and since then he'd believed that love way temporary at best. And then Connie had come along and he didn't know what to do. He loved her, he really did, but he was so afraid that their relationship would end soon that he couldn't make himself trust it. That meant that every time Connie showed him affection, he couldn't bear it. He wanted to fall head over heels. But deep down inside he couldn't let himself.

He forced another smile as Connie moved away and began to pack again. He had to confront this soon; but for now, he couldn't face it.

_And we've got to find other ways_

_To make it alone_

_Or keep a straight face_

Connie's holiday would be a real test for him, to see if he could really manage on his own. Every time he thought about it, he felt strangely empty. Of course, he told himself, that was because Connie was his best friend, and he'd been through a lot with her. Col had to find a way to survive on his own, for the time when he believed they would split up. Unfortunately, he couldn't even imagine not being with her now. She was in his mind all the time: not always at the front, but just resting at the back; her smile, her eyes...everything. He couldn't even think of her without a smile creeping onto his face. He had to manage without her for a month; but for the life of him he didn't know how.

_And I've always lived like this_

_Keeping a comfortable distance_

"Can you pass me those books?" asked Connie, bringing Col abruptly back to the real world.

"What? Oh, yeah, sure."

He handed her a pile of exercise books full of her notes from the Universal's Library. There were at least five, all filled to the back of the last page with Connie's neat, rounded handwriting, and she needed all of them for study in Greece. She took them with a smile and wedged them in-between a stack of mythology books and an empty photo album.

"What's the album for?" asked Col curiously.

Connie smiled.

"For all the photos I'll be taking – I know I'll be training, but it's just gorgeous over there. I promise I'll take some of the wild pegasi for you – Gard says there are loads up in the mountains." She pointed to her hand-luggage. "My camera's in there; with about five memory cards!"

Col laughed politely, then quickly turned back to packing. His usual composure was deserting him, to his surprise – he was never like this, never. He'd gone through life staying at a comfortable distance away from every attachment, always afraid that they would desert him like his parents had done.

_And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness_

_Because none of it was ever worth the risk_

He'd almost convinced himself that he was fine on his own, he could live by himself quite happily. He'd never been more wrong. But from a young age he'd made himself believe that he didn't need anyone else, not at all, and Col couldn't make himself think otherwise now. After all, no girl who'd liked him had ever been worth trusting. Shirley had definitely not been worth the risk, and anyone else had only had a passing interest. He'd never found anyone who he could trust, absolutely and utterly, who he could confide in. Until Connie.

_But you are the only exception_

_You are the only exception_

_You are the only exception_

_You are the only exception_

Connie was different. She'd saved his life several times, not to mention that of the whole Society, and he knew she could be utterly trusted to do the right thing. If only he was able to tell her how much she meant to him. Aloud, Col sighed.

"What's wrong?" asked his girlfriend, turning back to him.

"Oh, nothing. I'm fine, really."

She moved over and put a hand on his shoulder.

"No, you're not. What's wrong? You've been weird for the past few days."

"Thanks."

"I don't mean it like that! But you must admit you've been acting...strangely, recently. Is it because of this holiday? `Cause, you know, I could postpone it for a bit, if you want-"

He cut her off mid-sentence.

"No, it's fine, honestly. You should go – you need this holiday, you've got loads of training to get through."

"Then what _is_ wrong? Don't pretend everything's fine, because I can tell it's not." She pushed him down to sit on the bed, and then joined him, looking anxiously at Col. "What is it?"

He looked into her eyes, and sighed heavily, wondering if he could tell her. _Heck, I can barely admit it myself!_, he thought.

"Well..." he began.

_I've got a tight grip on reality but I can't_

_Let go of what's in front of me here_

All his ideas, his doubts, and thoughts disappeared as he looked at Connie. She was here, she was real; and amazing. He couldn't deny the tightness in his chest, the feeling in his stomach; this was serious, not just a little crush. She took his hand comfortingly, and smiled.

"Tell me anything. Whatever's wrong, I'll do everything I can to help," she promised.

_Okay..._, thought Col, _this is it. I'll tell her everything. It's only fair._

"Alright. I'm terrified of falling in love. There. I've said it."

He leant back and stared at the back of her head, waiting for her reaction.

"Why?" she asked, eventually.

"Well...with all that stuff with Mack and Cassandra...I've never trusted these..._feelings_," he said, hesitantly. "All this mushy emotional stuff is so weird and confusing. I hate it. I think. But part of me loves it."

Connie laughed.

"That's it? Honestly?"

_I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up_

_Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream_

"This is all too perfect. I'm afraid that when you get back...none of this will have happened. It'll all have been some amazing dream. I know you're leaving tomorrow morning, so this is the last time I'll be seeing you; and I just don't want to find this was all...rubbish."

Now he was admitting it, it sounded very, very stupid. He went red, and looked away. Connie began to laugh, and turned back to him.

"Fine. Give me your hand."

"What?"

"Just do it."

Connie held out her own hand, and took Col's right hand by the wrist. With her other hand she picked up the black marker pen that she'd been using to label the suitcases, and uncapped it with her mouth. Then she began to write on his hand.

"What are you doing?" he demanded, squirming as the pen-nib tickled his palm.

"You'll see," was all she replied with.

She finished with a flourish and released his wrist. Col immediately looked at it, and burst out laughing.

"I love you, signed Connie Lionheart?" he gasped.

"Well, it does the job, doesn't it?" she smirked. "But honestly..." she leant forward, "it's true."

Col smiled.

"Thanks."

_Thanks?_, he screamed mentally. _That's not what you say when someone tells you they love you!_

"I mean," he amended. "I..."

_Come on, idiot,_ he thought. _Say it. Say you love her!_

Connie laid a hand on his shoulder, sensing his discomfort.

"Come on, enough of this mushy emotional stuff. We've got packing to do!"

_You are the only exception_

_You are the only exception_

_You are the only exception_

_You are the only exception_

And that was the thing about Connie. She understood everything, everyone; she was never pushy, never angry when he couldn't make it out of training. She wasn't perfect – far from it – but she was perfect for him. The only exception to his relationship rules. The only one.

"Connie?"

She turned around and grinned.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

She smiled, and moved closer to him.

"I know," she whispered.

_And I'm on the way to believing_

_Oh, and I'm on my way to believing._

**Thanks**


End file.
